I was recently contacted by the School of Heritage in Nigeria, West Africa to be a guest on their podcast. The host, Timitope Adegoke, wanted to discuss my books, especially my humane education viewpoints. He wanted to hear thoughts about how all world-wide parents can raise kind, compassionate, respectful children with the emphasis on treatment and understanding of animals, nature, and the environment. Timitope asked insightful questions (in bold) and I had a challenge thinking on my feet!

Here is the dialogue we shared:

1. For listeners who are parents, caregivers, or educators, why is it so important to teach children early to respect life in all its forms, including animals, nature, and other people?

I see human beings as another species that inhabits this planet. We are often too arrogant to admit we depend on all other life forms to maintain our own—physically, psychologically, emotionally, and intellectually.

If we do not teach compassion for others, regardless of life-form, we are doomed to isolate ourselves from our fellow inhabitants—to the detriment of the existence of the planet, which we are now seeing accumulate through decades of abuse and neglect on the part of the human species.

When we teach children that they are part of the whole, a cog in the wheel of Earth’s existence so to speak, we will hopefully open their eyes to the need for respect of their own place in the overall cycle of life.

For small children this will take the form of respect and compassion for others they come in contact with—plant, animal, or other humans. When they are taught that they are an important but not superior creature, they will grow into learning that we must all help each other survive and enjoy each other’s company. An example of teaching this is to encourage children to be aware of others’ feelings and instincts for survival in their own environment. For example: teaching a child to capture and release an indoor spider to the outside; learning about the various critters who share their yard; understanding that all life forms feel pain, protect their young; have basic needs such as food, water, shelter, and safety. These are all features that children can identify with.

In older children, intervening with their own irresponsible treatments towards others will hopefully lesson the growing phenomena of abuse of others they see as “inferior” to themselves. There is a documented scenario of “The Link”—the inevitability of youthful abuse of those seen as inferior (younger siblings, animals, insects, etc.) to the escalation to violence against others in adulthood. Teaching compassion can never be started too early.

All of this will contribute in the long run to the evolution of increased civility in humans towards all. Teaching awareness of others will hopefully bring about more generalized compassion and desire to assist all to more quality lives. It is imperative that we teach new generations of our interconnected dependence.

2. How can the way children are taught to relate to animals shape their empathy, compassion, and character as they grow?

Character is an almost extinct word in our culture these days. There are so few good examples of it. Adults without character become cynical, cruel, greedy, emotionally cold, and do not nurture any moral compass. This decent in behaviors has resulted in the chaos we are now experiencing, particularly in our own American culture, but also world-wide in the human sphere of co-existing.

Without character, empathy and compassion have no home. You cannot have empathy or compassion without character. Emotionally shallow human beings exist on a flat plain of self-centeredness that precludes any tendencies to kindness. We are unfortunately falling into a society of character decline, not development. Therefore empathy and compassion are fading away. As a matter of fact, one of the American political parties now preaches that compassion is a weakness, not a strength, and should be struck down at every opportunity. When there is a large group extolling a particular belief, we, as pack/herd animals clump together and follow whatever leader appeals to our own individual grievances. That group-think does not look ahead to how ignoring our human instincts will affect the future of our own species, as well as others.

Empathy, compassion, kindness, and deep-seated altruism are natural instincts of all large-brained social creatures. There are countless examples of such behaviors in elephants, dolphins, great apes, canines, etc. Studies have shown that deep social instincts that will benefit the group as well as outsiders, run in many species. A quick perusal of You Tube or the Dodo site on the internet frequently show films of animals saving others, unexpected caring from one species for another, and instinctual comprehension of danger for another that the observer can alleviate.

It is beyond my comprehension why certain Homo sapiens find these instincts abhorrent but at the root of abandoning these instincts is the genesis of self-empowerment, greed, and inability to comprehend consequences. This is not a good direction for one species to head in.

All large-brained social animals live in societies that are inter-dependent and must benefit all members to survive. Dogs are a great example of this. Canine species have learned through millennia that they have higher reproduction and survival rates if they cooperate with each other. When they widened their partnerships to include humans, they benefited much of the time. And yet all too often humans betray this species-to-species trust with the same malevolent treatment they perpetrate upon each other. Oddly, Homo sapiens are almost exclusively the proponents of such anti-social, anti-nature, anti-community attitude.

Teaching children to relate to animals through empathy and compassion will benefit all levels of survival, quality of life, and inter-connectedness of nature and human partnerships. Patiently showing children how the qualities of compassion, respect, and kindness towards others will serve to enlarge the sadly shrinking pool of humans who see that developing what we call “good character” is the key to survival of our own species.

By teaching children they are truly members of a planet-wide community that needs their unique talents will help them grow into teens and adults who want to develop contributory characteristics, thereby alleviating much of the alienation, insecurity, and hopelessness we see in our progeny today.

3. Why does raising children who respect life require more than just rules, and instead call for modeling kindness, patience, and responsibility in everyday living?

Respect for life is not a matter of rules but of deep emotional, cognitive, and physical connection to others. Rules are made for those who cannot think for or govern themselves, and who do not have the desire to discover their own paths, but prefer to let others think for them and then follow blindly off any given cliff of disaster.

For others, rules are rigid and ask to be rebelled against. Emotional reasoning as to why kindness is the best course of action encourages cognitive reasoning development in children. If children are more or less forced to follow rules with no reasoning explained, they will either become rebels or robots.

Modeling the behaviors of kindness, patience, and responsibility is imperative in any human in a position of leadership. Guiding another person, regardless of age, towards more benevolent, deeply felt compassion is the only way to turn societies away from the heartless cruelty that benefits a few but hurts the many.

4. For families who want to nurture compassion in children, what are some simple ways to help them see animals and nature not as objects, but as living beings worthy of care?

There are so many. Volunteering with your children at animal shelters, rescues, and sanctuaries. Going to nature preserves and taking tours with educated guides who teach their own specialties. Not passing by a lost dog or cat but stopping and getting them to a safe place. Taking injured wildlife to a licensed rehabilitator. Going to museums to learn the history of humans and animals. Watching the plethora of nature shows on television. When there is a rainstorm, walk your neighborhood and replace stranded worms back into the grass or soil. Hang out a bird feeder. Find and share a special interest of your child and research how you can both contribute to improving that situation.

Also, as your child’s guide you can set a compassionate example by showing an excitement for learning. Include your child in activities that call for physical caring of animals such as fostering, which will influence them more than all the academic influences that they will have when they are young. Building your child’s trust in you as a teacher, leader, and benevolent guide to life is crucial. Never betray them by giving away their dog, killing an insect or reptile, or ignoring an opportunity to help anyone in need. They will learn from your attitude, your warmth, and your concern.

5. How can storytelling help children develop a deeper emotional connection to kindness, stewardship, and humane values in a way that stays with them?

Reading with your child is important. Sharing stories by authors who teach the qualities of awareness of others, how to responsibly care for a specific creature, or how humans and animals or nature interact in that child’s world are increasingly available.

These books/articles/blogs, etc. can be fiction stories, non-fiction how-tos, educational focused, scientific or emotional. Varied exposures with you as their partner in discovery will widen every child’s awareness to the big world they have entered. It will deepen their bond to you as well as widen their view of a world they can participate in.

You can also take your child to age-appropriate lectures, story times at libraries, or group activities like scouting, or class excursion trips.

6. What role do curiosity and education play in helping children move beyond fear or indifference and into respectful understanding of animals and the natural world?

Children are born without fear, indifference, or prejudice. They must be taught negative emotions. Children are born with various levels of curiosity, but most are quite curious. The “nature vs. nurture” conundrum has sprouted countless studies.

For example, studies of mice born to an outgoing/social parent were exchanged with babies born to a high-strung/fearful mother. In time, the formerly calm babies that were given to the high-strung mother became high-strung and the fearful babies given to the calm mother became calm. Genetics certainly plays a role, but environment is powerful competition.

Years ago there was a fascinating study of fear in children. I will never forget the impact of the photo a scientist took of a baby laying on a large, coiled snake. The baby had no fear. The snake was calm because no threatening behavior came from the baby.

Children must be taught to fear. Parents are wise to teach caution in many situations, such as not going anywhere with someone the child does not know, and being careful crossing a street. But fear of dogs, cats, reptiles, or large animals must be taught.

Prejudices, based in the not-so-subtle pretext of hate, must be taught. A child never naturally hates a person of another color or religion, nor do they instinctively hate pigs and love cows. They must be taught.

When I worked with the animal cruelty investigators at a shelter during my time as a professional humane educator, we found that children often turn to animal abuse as young as eight or nine. They model cruel behavior they themselves are subjected to. Their experiences of abuse caused them to be mean. They could not process the cruelty inflicted on themselves or verbalize deep confusions, so they repeated the behavior they saw as human on victims that, like themselves, could not fight back. Their abuse of “safe” victims such as pets ALWAYS developed into cruelty and violence against people in adulthood. The studies done on these behaviors are collectively called, “The LINK.”

By the time the animal cruelty investigators and I worked our cases the children were teens who had already had run-ins with law enforcement. With the intervention of some of the class scenarios we immersed the students in, we were able to help them return to their inborn compassion through education. By becoming more empathetic to animals we helped them transfer that empathy to their potential human victims.

7. How can parents and educators respond when children show fear, roughness, or misunderstanding toward animals in ways that still guide them gently toward empathy?

Each situation calls for its own solution. Example is the greatest teacher. Having a trusted adult show and guide a child to proper behavior teaches more than all the lectures separated from actions ever could. Meeting the child on his or her own level of comprehension, using vocabulary they understand, and asking them to describe how they would feel in the same situation the animal is in immerses them in budding analytical thinking, and develops the innate but often non-verbal instinct to identify with others.

Many studies of toddlers have shown that when one begins to cry in a group, the others join in, even if they have no physical reason to. This emotional empathy in inborn. At the other end of the life-span we often see one spouse pass away shortly after the first, especially in long, contented marriages. We are a social, herd-oriented species from beginning to end. The phenomena of emotional bonds humans possess are also evident in animals and birds.

8. Why is teaching children to respect life also connected to how they learn respect for boundaries, vulnerability, and the wellbeing of others in human relationships?

To respect is to honor. To honor boundaries—physical and emotional—is to have regard for those limitations. It is easier to accept behavioral boundaries when there is a meaningful reason for having them set. Those reasons can be communicated in the human species. Communication is the best form of education, even in very young children. Even non-verbal children can understand words before they can speak them themselves.

Respect for vulnerability—in oneself or others—is to determine that the self or the other is worthy of esteem; to appreciate the worth of the self or the other. When a child learns that he/she or others have worth and reason for being, the weakness or vulnerability of that self or other needs to be honored and protected. Developing the feeling of “equal rank” between all is a difficult concept for the very young child but simply seeing the appropriate behaviors modeled in trusted adults will begin the gradual adaptation of the developing character trait, which can be verbalized later in development.

Again, respect for the wellbeing of others is to have concern for those others. To relate to or have interest in what brings happiness to others is learned through trial and error but following the example of one who teaches such esoteric skills is a quicker route. Success is demonstrated by the appreciation, affection, and joy the other bestows upon the giver. I have never seen a child not positively respond to praise for a kind action or a job well done. When that child performs an action that adds quality to another’s situation, he or she will instinctively feel good that they were able to bring about that positivity. Everyone, regardless of age, likes to feel good. Doing good feels good. Positive actions that bring positive good=positive reinforcement. Reward for being kind and contributory will ensure further growth in the child in a direction of continuation of striving for those personal “feel good” rewards.

9. For listeners who may feel the world is becoming more disconnected or harsh, how can raising children with humane values become part of building a kinder future?

I think it is rare that humaneness, compassion, and kindness will not be reciprocated. Hence, by providing these treatments to another will lower the other’s guard, decrease cynicism, and open a brighter connection between the one who bestows good will and the receiver.

If those two continue the flow in each’s circles of associations, the ripple effect will fan out, and unless purposely stopped by a truly negative person, will overcome the shallows of contempt, cruelty, and learned nastiness. Each stone dropped into a stagnant pool will result in light-catching ripples that expand and widen as they travel, bringing a glow where there was staleness and dark decay.

10. If one listener is hearing this episode today and wants to help a child grow into someone who genuinely respects life, what would you want them to remember about compassion, example, and the small lessons that shape a heart over time?

That example is the largest influencer on a child. That example has to be a natural response. Those actions of example-setting must be sincere for children easily read falseness. But before any influence is possible the child and the influencer/teacher must share a deep, steady trust. No one–animal or human–can learn without trust at the core of the relationship.